Kingdom Alliance
Well, here we are. The second book
You know how in some series, the second book begins with a recap of everything that happened in the first book, so if you’ve forgotten some pertinent details, there’s a quick summary there to catch you up to speed? Or, in other cases, the main bits of backstory are cleverly woven into the first few chapters so if a casual reader happens to pick up the middle book in the series, they can understand and enjoy the book.
Stanek has neither of these. Then again, as we have established, Stanek’s writing is designed to make things as incomprehensible as possible.
At any rate, in yet another (probably futile) effort to make this clusterfuck of a story accessible for you, dear reader, I have tasked myself with my very own recap of the first book, which you will find below.
A few notes: As before, this book is the exact same as The Kingdoms and the Elves of the Reaches III and The Kingdoms and the Elves of the Reaches IV. This is the ‘adult’ version of the story, which means that Stanek split the story in half and released them again in ‘children’s’ versions. The text itself is identical.
It picks up approximately where the last book left off, which doesn’t mean it will necessarily make sense, even though it’s a continuation of the same story.
Here we go!
- Part 1: Berserker Rage
- Part 2: Ample Breasts
- Part 3: A Piece of Candy
- Part 4: You Are Indeed Fools
- Part 5: Stroking Adrina’s Mind
- Part 6: Feel the Waters Crest
- Part 7: His Secret Desire
- Part 8: Soliloquy
- Part 9: Some Kind of Prize
- Part 10: Seppuku
- Part 11: Winter Is Coming
- Part 12: Vision Quest
- Part 13: Dragon’s Milk
- Part 14: Visibly Fatigued
Hey, I’d just like to know whether or not you have abandoned this project. I have been enjoying it. As an amateur writer, it is a good guide on what do avoid when writing a book.
on what to*
Yeah, I miss getting regular updates on this hilarious spork as well, although the delays are understandable – it must take some real fortitude to get through Stanek’s books.
Yes … where is part 7? What happens next?!? I stopped at Kingdom and Elves 1 (which I guess is is the first half of Kepper Martin’s Tale? -who knows?) so I’m curious on what happens to all these dull poorly written characters. I hope many die George R. Martin style, but that is asking too much perhaps. Please continue this project so I won’t ahve to buy a 1 cent copy of this trash USED from Amazon.
Asha pretty much hit the nail on the head – it’s very difficult to wade through Stanek’s books. Other sporks are funnier and much easier to write, whereas Stanek’s writing is so incomprehensible that it’s very difficult to write a spork that is both legible and funny. I do intend to pick this one back up, and hopefully finish the series.
A fitting quote regarding Mr. Stanek:
“This too to remember. If a man writes clearly enough any one can see if he fakes. If he mystifies to avoid a straight statement, which is very different from breaking so-called rules of syntax or grammar to make an efffect which can be obtained in no other way, the writer takes a longer time to be known as a fake and other writers who are afflicted by the same necessity will praise him in their own defense. True mysticism should not be confused with incompetence in writing which seeks to mystify where there is no mystery but is really only the necessity to fake to cover lack of knowledge or the inability to state clearly. Mysticism implies a mystery and there are many mysteries; but incompetence is not one of them; nor is overwritten journalism made literature by the injection of a false epic qulaity. Remember this too: all bad writers are in love with the epic.”
– Ernest Hemingway
Words cannot describe how glad I am that this spork has returned. Do you have any kind of ETA on when we might see a spork for Fields of Honor/In the Service of Dragons 1-2? I read the first chapter or so on Amazon using look-inside, and it seems to be reaching new levels of incomprehensibility, if that was possible.