Inheritance Spork: Part Forty-Nine


This one was written by me.

Chapter Fifty-Five – Lacuna, Part the First

I have a problem with this (and the next chapter’s) titles. It’s a book. The chapter length can and does vary. You don’t need to have two sections of a chapter, it’s not clever. Have one chapter.

“But what if it would make an obscenely long chapter?” you ask? Have an obscenely long chapter.

Also this chapter is four pages long. Technically, it’s three and a quarter pages long.

We begin with Eragon noticing different things at the same time. It’s a big chamber about two hundred feet across with a pit in the middle, it’s very hot, the walls sparkle like Edward Cullen’s chest, and there’s a man made of metal with a dragon head.

The Tin Man walks towards them, bellows, and then starts mindraping the shit out of all of them.

A blur of light and a roar of incoherent noise surrounded him as the yammering chorus forced itself into every nook and cranny of his being (page 554).

The Tin Man examines all of Eragon’s memories, including probably the really embarrassing ones where he masturbates while scrying Arya, and eventually releases him. He then welcomes Eragon and Saphira with the standard “had to be sure your intentions were pure, nice to meet you, etc.”

Eragon looks around and suddenly realizes the sparkling walls aren’t vampire abs, they’re actually dozens and dozens of glowing orbs. Eldunari. He then looks down at a different section and is gobsmacked. His knees grow week, his breath is taken away, he doesn’t know what to say.

Because there are eggs there.

Dragon eggs.

“I am so surprised by this revelation that there are more dragon eggs out there!” said no one ever.

The chapter ends on this CLIFFHANGER. Except it’s not a cliffhanger, at all. I’m not even sure why Eragon is so surprised. Sure, he’s not the least bit Genre Savvy, but still, the one place in Umlautgaesia where there could possibly theoretically be dragon eggs…has dragon eggs. Why is this so surprising?