Part 10: Fisting In My Hair

 
Chapter Fifteen

Grey comes over and sees the box of expensive books Anastasia packed up to return to him. They argue about whether or not she can return them. He says that as a submissive, she just needs to accept whatever he gives her. Anastasia says fine, since they’re hers, she wants to give them to a charity to auction off.

“If that’s what you want to do.” His mouth sets into a hard line. He’s disappointed (page 251).

James. WE GET IT. All you need is the line about his mouth setting and we understand that he’s disappointed. You don’t need to show us AND tell us. Get a goddamn editor.

They start drinking wine and talking. Anastasia reveals that she has a couple interviews at Seattle publishing houses and he’s not all that happy that she didn’t tell him, because he’s a manipulative control freak. She refuses to tell him what publishing houses they are because she doesn’t want him influence them as to whether she gets the job or not, which seems perfectly reasonable.

After he asks her about whether she ate, Anastasia rolls her eyes.

“Next time you roll your eyes at me, I will take you across my knee.” (page 255)

Yawn.

They start talking about soft limits. She doesn’t want to be fisted, and:

“Anal intercourse doesn’t exactly float my boat.”

“I’ll agree to the fisting, but I’d really like to claim your ass, Anastasia. But we’ll wait for that. Besides, it’s not something we can dive into.” He smirks at me. “Your ass will need training.” (page 256)

Sweet, so if she has problems with something, but Grey really wants it, then they’ll just save that for later. That’s fair. Also, I’m not sure if James has ever actually had anal sex, but you don’t need training. Just patience, and lube.

…I just realized that I’m critically analyzing an author’s understanding of the mechanics of anal sex. My life choices have led me here.

Grey explains that it can be very pleasurable. He knows, because Mrs. Robinson packed his fudge.

Holy shit…. how? I frown (page 256).

With a strap-on, presumably. How did you get through college this naïve, Anastasia?

She consents to the use of different toys, and different types of bondage, and different ways of being tied up. Anastasia gets drunker as they go on and on, but that’s Grey for you. Ply them with alcohol and they’ll consent to anything.

They talk about different types of pain. Anastasia was never spanked as a child so she really doesn’t have a frame of reference. Grey explains that caning hurts the most.

“We can work up to that.”

“Or not do it at all,” I whisper.

“This is part of the deal, baby, but we’ll work up to all of this.” (page 260)

Hot.

Finally, Grey says that outside of the time when she’s his sub, they could try. You know. Dating? Being in a relationship? He’s not sure if it will work, but he’s willing to try. OMG. Anastasia Steele is just so special that he’s willing to try and have a relationship! I bet it’s going to work out for them in the end. Anastasia is ecstatic, and Grey says it’s on one condition, that she accept his graduation present. He leads her outside and it’s a new Audi. Anastasia is rather embarrassed and also a little pissed off, but she agrees to accept it on loan, like the laptop.

He grabs me suddenly and yanks me up against him, one hand at my back holding me to him and the other fisting in my hair (page 262).

How do you fist in someone’s hair?

“It’s taking all of my self-control not to fuck you on the hood of this car right now, just to show you that you are mine, and if I want to buy you a fucking car, I’ll buy you a fucking car,” he growls (page 262).

And with that, they head inside to have sex.

My subconscious is behind the sofa again, head hidden under her hands (page 262).

That doesn’t sound good.

“Please don’t be angry with me,” I whisper.

His gaze is impassive, his eyes cold shards of smoky glass.

“I’m sorry about the car and the books…” I trail off. He remains silent and brooding. “You scare me when you’re angry.” (page 262).

See, the thing about BDSM relationships, healthy ones, is that they are built on mutual trust and respect. Both partners are willing, they understand what they both want, and they’re in the relationship because that is what makes them happy, or it gets them where they need to be. This isn’t a healthy relationship, and it certainly isn’t a healthy BDSM relationship. This is built around fear, intimidation, manipulation, and alcohol-fueled consent.
Grey’s expression softens, they get naked, her nipples pucker, there’s foreplay, Anastasia’s mouth drops open, her inner goddess wants to explode, and eventually she puts the condom on him and they have incredible mind-blowing sex that ends in yet another simultaneous orgasm.

Chapter Sixteen

She wakes up and touches his glorious muscular chest, which makes Grey grab her hand.

“Don’t,” he murmurs, then kisses me lightly.

“Why don’t you like to be touched?” I whisper, staring up into soft gray eyes.

“Because I’m fifty shades of fucked up, Anastasia.” (page 269)

And by ‘touching’ I guess that means when Anastasia puts her hand somewhere on his body. Except her touching his penis is fine. And touching his head is fine. And his hand is fine. And holding onto his arm is fine. And she can touch him through his clothes when she takes his clothes off, that’s fine. And I guess when their bodies touch, you know, when that happens when you have sex, that’s also fine. But apparently if her HAND touches his CHEST, that is not fine. You’d think Anastasia might wonder about this, or maybe ask for clarification since he’s being really fucking confusing. I mean, it’s perfectly naturally for Grey to have some sort of trigger since he was abused as a kid. And let’s say that his specific trigger is when someone’s hand touches his chest. I really don’t have a problem with that, but why the fuck doesn’t he just say “Please do not touch my chest” so she knows it and can avoid it?

Anyway, he asks her when her period is due, because he hates wearing condoms, and then tells her she needs to sort out some contraceptives.

“Do you have a doctor?”

I shake my head (page 271).

She’s TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD and she doesn’t have a gynecologist? Good lord.

He says he can bring his doctor to see her at her place or at his, and Anastasia decides on his so she can see him. There’s some more playful banter which is playful in that borderline creepy way:

“You’d kidnap me?”

“Oh yes.” He grins.

“Hold me against my will?” Jeez, this is hot (page 272).

Except for the borderline part.

Blah blah, Anastasia rolls her eyes, and Grey points out that he said if she did that again he was going to spank her. He bends her over and pulls down her sweatpants. And remember all that talk about how the pain isn’t that bad?

He hits me again and again, quickly in succession. Holy fuck it hurts. I make no sound, my face screwed up against the pain. I try to wriggle away from the blows – spurred on by adrenaline spiking and coursing through my body (page 274).

That definitely sounds like it’s for Anastasia’s pleasure.

He spanks her eighteen times, and the last eight hurt enough to make her cry out in pain, and she wants him to stop but she doesn’t because she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction, which sounds healthy.

Then they have sex which ends it yet ANOTHER simultaneous orgasm…hang on, I’m going to do a shot. Actually a double shot. That’s the best way to get through this piece of shit. Doubles every time they have a simultaneous orgasm.

He tells her well done.

I’m so pleased that he’s happy (page 276).

Hoo boy.

Grey finds some baby oil and rubs it into her behind. No, I’m not joking. Then he leaves and Anastasia calls her mom and starts crying because she’s fallen for a guy but he’s so different and she’s not sure if it’s going to work out. This goes on for awhile, and eventually Kate gets home and gets pissed off at Grey because he upset Anastasia again. Anastasia tells her it’s not like that so they share some wine, she asks Kate about her day, and Kate immediately forgets about Anastasia and starts chattering about what happened to her. You know, I’m not sure Kate actually gives a fuck about anyone else. She does a good job of faking it but I think she’s pretty self-absorbed.

She gets an email ordering her to take Advil and not to drive her car again. They exchange some email. Grey says that he’ll get Taylor to take her car off to sell it and get a good deal on it as well. Anastasia says she’s not even sure she likes him anymore, because he never stays with her, and then she turns the computer off, gets into bed, and finally starts sobbing into her pillow.

After a bit she hears a commotion out in the apartment. It’s Kate having a screaming match with Grey, who apparently just walked in and then barges into Anastasia’s room because he has no respect for privacy. Kate asks Anastasia if she wants her to throw Grey – who Kate refers to as ‘this asshole’, which warms my heart – out, but Anastasia says no.

They talk. Anastasia didn’t like the spanking and doesn’t want it to happen again. Grey explains that she wasn’t meant to like it. Of course, after all it’s not like all of this is for Anastasia’s pleasure…oh wait.

She asks him why he likes it, and he explains that he likes the control it gives him and it turns him on to see her in pain. Then he asks why she can be so direct and blunt via email but never in person. Anastasia explains that he beguiles and overwhelms her, which makes him gasp. Then he says that it’s the other way around…she has completely bewitched him, which makes her inner goddess stare openmouthed. It’s very romantic.

Anyway, he agrees to stay, he gets in her bed, they spoon and fall asleep.

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  6 Responses to “Part 10: Fisting In My Hair”

  1. To be fair to Ana, I’m a 24-year-old female who’s never had sex, I don’t have a gynecologist, and quite frankly I’ve never seen the need for one. I actually feel insulted when my health care provider sends out “reminders” that women in my age group all “ought” to undergo invasive examination procedures to test for diseases I know I don’t have.

  2. “Anastasia didn’t like the spanking and doesn’t want it to happen again. Grey explains that she wasn’t meant to like it.”

    Sorry, but wasn’t the only thing Ana was supposed to get from this deal was sexual pleasure from Grey? Being forced to perform humiliating or painful things that only Grey enjoys DOESN’T SOUND LIKE PLEASURE.

  3. I agree with Jen that not every woman needs a gynecologist, but it seemed to me when I was reading that quote that Anastasia doesn’t have a doctor, period. Especially considering that Gray’s doctor would not be a gyno. I don’t know; it could just be me misinterpreting the text, or the author misunderstanding the American healthcare system.

  4. Uh…how can you know you don’t have cancer if you don’t get examined? When symptoms actually occur, it is usually too late to do anything about it. Going to the gynecologist isn’t about whether you’re a virgin or not. It’s about making sure your cells aren’t eating you up from the inside, mostly.

    Anyway, I was browsing Tesco’s book section the other day and boy, there is an avalanche of 50 Shades wannabes now, just like there were tons of Twilight clones around when that started to be sucessful. Let me phrase my disbelief in my best Anastasia Steele manner: Holy cow.

    Also, this chapter is beyond retarded. It doesn’t really get any better. Great sporking, though.

  5. :::raises hand::: I can attest to the first part. I never had a regular OBGYN, never had a pap test or anything. A few weeks ago, I woke up with intense abdominal pain. Went to the ER, had a CT scan, and they found a cyst on each ovary. The left one was as big as a golf ball; that’s the one that hurt. Couple days after, I had them removed. The right was benign, but the left … Let’s just say that in another week and a half, I have to go back in to have my left ovary and tube removed, along with the lymph nodes on that side to make sure the cancer found in the cyst doesn’t spread.

    Moral of this story? Hie thee to a friggin’ OBGYN.

  6. As KaliDiah points out above, she never had an OBGYN either and ended up with a tumor on each ovary. Those examinations are kind of necessary for women, just like the similarly invasive prostate examination for men.