Part 11: Demeaned, Debased, And Abused

Chapter Seventeen

They wake up and Grey is wrapped around her and extremely hot. Temperature and looks. He wakes up, realizes it’s late, pulls on some clothes, and reminds her that they’ll be together again on Sunday, when undoubtedly they’ll once again get down and dirty.

Grey leaves, Anastasia gets up, and after a bit she writes Grey an email about how she felt:

Well, during the whole alarming process, I felt demeaned, debased, and abused. And much to my mortification, you’re right, I was aroused, and that was unexpected (page 292).

Hmmm. That’s, uh. Probably not a good thing. Generally speaking people are submissives because they LIKE being submissive. It’s nice that Anastasia got wet, I guess, but I’m mostly concerned that she found the entire ordeal unpleasant and didn’t want it to happen again.

Anastasia adds that she felt uncomfortable and guilty and fires off the email. Grey, as we’ve just been informed, is on his way (late, in fact) to an important business meeting but he still has time to compose a well-crafted email response and email it back 19 minutes later. Maybe his driver is behind the wheel and Grey is emailing from his car’s built-in wifi. Or maybe he’s typing out this entire emails on his Blackberry, which means he’s ridiculously dedicated.

Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this? Two very different things. (page 293)

This is actually a great question, for Grey. It’s not unreasonable for Anastasia to feel some sense of shame or guilt based on societal expectations, or to feel that she SHOULD feel that way.

If that is how you feel, do you think you could just try to embrace these feelings, deal with them, for me? That’s what a submissive would do (page 293).

So, you know, if these sexual things make you uncomfortable, or guilty, or you feel ashamed of them, can you just, like, deal with it? For me?

God I fucking hate Christian Grey.

Blah blah, she calls him on being in a meeting, he admits that he’s in a meeting and it’s boring, she says she’ll think about embracing the feelings, he points out that she could have asked him to stop and used the safeword, which is technically true although Anastasia is pretty naïve and unused to this shit so maybe the proper thing would be to remind her ahead of time what the safewords are and that she can use them at any time.

They exchange some more emails where Grey is a control freak and Anastasia toys with him a little bit but always does what he says because she’s kind of passive. She heads off to work and after a bit a courier shows up with a package for Anastasia. Inside is a BlackBerry. She turns it on and unsurprisingly there’s an email from Grey.

I need to be able to contact you at all times, and since this is your most honest form of communication, I figured you needed a BlackBerry (page 299).

Why, precisely, does he need to be able to contact her at all times? After all, according to this lovely contract, she’s going to make herself available to be abused by him Friday evenings through Sunday afternoons. About two days per week. Why the fuck would Grey need to be able to contact her AT ALL TIMES? Except to be controlling.

I’d love it if Anastasia threw the fucking BlackBerry back into the package and told the courier to return to sender. Alternately, she could frisbee that piece of shit into the parking lot and let Grey know that she isn’t at his beck and call, but she doesn’t, because she is.

Taylor comes and gets her car to go sell it, and of course Anastasia doesn’t get in and do a few doughnuts just to show Grey what’s what. She and Kate pack up their house, Jose visits, Elliot comes over and he and Kate have loud sex so she and Jose go to the bar for a bit. Eventually Anastasia comes home and finds an email that says she said she would email him when she got home from work, and, you know, she didn’t. She checks her BlackBerry and there are five missed calls from Christian, because he’s a ridiculously paranoid, controlling douchenozzle.

They chat on the phone and of course Grey was WORRIED about her and she’s sorry and they talk and he sounds sad that he had a boring day and this makes Anastasia wish he were there so she could comfort him and the conversation winds down.

“You hang up,” I whisper. Finally, I sense his smile.

“No, you hang up.” And I know he’s grinning.

“I don’t want to.”

“Neither do I.” (page 306)

God, it’s like middle school all over again.

Anyway, we cut forward into Anastasia and Kate’s bitching new apartment in Seattle overlooking Pike Place Market. Apparently this is due to Kate’s parents who must have connections. And are probably footing a good chunk of the bill.

On Sunday she drives her new Audi to visit Grey. He has the doctor there, who apparently is the best ob-gyn in all of Seattle. Of course. Spared no expense.

And he says that his mother would like Anastasia to come with him to dinner that night. DUN DUN DUN.

Chapter Eighteen

So the ob-gyn spends some time thoroughly poking around in Anastasia’s box and they have a nice chat and decide on which birth control to use and Anastasia gets her prescription.

The doctor leaves, she and Grey have some salad for dinner, (with wine, because he wants to do things to her) and then things start heating up. She asks if he’s going to hit her, and he says yes, but not to hurt her.

Holy cow. He wants to hurt me… how do I deal with this? I can’t hide the horror on my face (page 317).

RUN.

Grey explains that put simply, he’s in it because he likes to give pain, however he understands that Anastasia doesn’t, so all he wants to do now is tie her up and fuck her senseless. They head into the Red Room of Pain and he takes all of her clothes off and then makes her kneel in a certain position while he changes into ripped-up jeans.

He chains her to the wall standing up and flicks her a bit with his riding crop, which is kind of amazing, even when he whacks her in the clitoris.

The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling (page 323).

It goes on for a couple pages and he keeps flicking her in the clitoris with his riding crop until she has an amazing orgasm.

I come, gloriously, loudly, sagging weakly. His arms curl around me as my legs turn to jelly. I dissolve in his embrace, my head against his chest, and I’m mewling and whimpering as the aftershocks of my orgasm consume me (page 324).

I realize as a male in my mid-twenties I’m not exactly this book’s target audience, but this writing does nothing for me.

So they have sex standing up and it’s incredible, mind-blowing even, and they have an almost simultaneous orgasm. Once that’s done Anastasia wants to sleep but he won’t let her, yet. Instead he bends her over and has her hold onto a pole and they have more incredible sex which leads to a simultaneous orgasm. So that’s two shots of whiskey. Be right back.

 

Okay. Back.

Grey puts a robe on her and then takes her down to her room and puts her to bed and she falls asleep instantly.

Chapter Nineteen

Grey wakes her up a bit later when it’s time to leave to his parents’ house. Anastasia gets dressed and realizes her panties are missing and then remembers that Grey put them in his pocket after taking them off (and sniffing them). Then she realizes that he’s done it so she’ll have to ask for them back, and promptly resolves to NOT ask for them back and go to dinner at his parents’ while freeballing. Or whichever the female equivalent of freeballing is. Urban Dictionary says it’s going clamando, which I find rather nauseating.

She heads out, Grey is rather obviously waiting for her to say something but she refuses and eventually he accepts it and off they go.

As they drive, Anastasia thinks about her feelings.

Would I do it again? I can’t even pretend to put up an argument against that. Of course I would, if he asked me – as long as he didn’t hurt me and if it’s the only way to be with him (page 335).

THAT’S NOT A GOOD THING YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

Eventually they arrive at the mansion, roll inside and meet the rest of the Cullens – sorry, the Greys. His mom is a doctor and his younger sister is about Anastasia’s age and ridiculously bubbly and her name is Alice. Okay, technically it’s Mia. Whatever.

They chat about vacations and Anastasia mentions she’s going to Georgia for a few days to visit her mother, which makes Christian flip his shit.

Christian clutches my elbow, bring me to an abrupt halt.

“When were you going to tell me you were leaving?” he asks urgently. His tone is soft, but he’s masking his anger (page 339).

Seriously, for the love of Christ, Anastasia, put him in his fucking place.

She doesn’t.

He asks about their arrangement and she points out they don’t have an arrangement because no contract has been signed yet. Oh snap!

Dinner is eventually served and Christian is pissed and she asks him not to be mad at her, since, you know, there is no earthly reason why any sane, rational person would be pissed off by someone going to visit her mother. He says he’s not mad at her, then admits that he’s actually mad at her. Their whispering is noticed by Kate, who asks Anastasia how Jose was when she went to the bar with him the other day, ostensibly trying to make Christian jealous. It works.

Christian leans over.

“Palm-twitchingly mad,” he whispers. “Especially now.” His tone is quiet and deadly (page 341).

So, he’s manipulative, controlling, uses sex and the threat of violence to get his own way, insists on Anastasia always being at his beck and call and knowing all of the details of her whereabouts and that she check in with him constantly and tell him if she’s planning on going anywhere, and he gets angry when she tries to visit her friends and family.

If I ran this fucking asshole through an abusive relationship checklist he’d score off the charts.

As dinner progresses, Anastasia worries.

Will he punish me? I quail at the thought. I haven’t signed the contract yet. Perhaps I won’t. Perhaps I’ll stay in Georgia where he can’t reach me (page 342).

…I’m honestly running out of things to say about this.

After dinner Christian takes Anastasia on a tour of the grounds. She wants to take her shoes off but instead he picks her up, throws her shoulder, and starts carrying her to the boathouse. Anastasia asks why.

“Because I’m going to spank you and then fuck you.”

“Why?” I whimper softly.

“You know why,” he hisses (page 346).

Of course. Was it because she dared to think about visiting her mother in Georgia without telling him first, which isn’t mentioned in the contract she hasn’t signed? Or was it because she went to the bar with a friend of hers, which isn’t mentioned in the contract she hasn’t signed?

God, this book is hot.

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