Fragment Eleven: An Ecstasy of Cognition


Chapter Ten

Dennagon bangs on the gates to the Lexicon Tower a few times, which is ineffective. Dradicus helpfully explains that once the doors have been opened, they can never be unlocked again, which he knows because reasons.

Dradicus says it’s time for them to just wander off and wait for the inevitable destruction of the universe and their deaths. Dennagon pulls out his sword and says that they can never be separated from their “comrades” and takes a swing at Dradicus, who parries.

So dinted was their scrimmage that both medieval weapons broke upon impact, crumbling into glistening silver (page 255).

That sounds…unlikely.

This suddenly makes them feel like comrades and stuff, which also sounds…unlikely.

“For truth,” said Dradicus.

“For being,” added Dennagon.

Their thoughts united, they both spoke simultaneously. “For the Lexicon Triumvirate!!”

It was an ecstasy of cognition (page 256).


Their minds were as one for a moment as they were suspended in thought more pristine than the purest waters of the World (page 256).

That sounds…oddly…

Linked, they shared each other’s visions in each other’s eyes, exchanged feelings without a word, and united without even touching (page 256).

….sensual. Definitely oddly sensual. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Anyway, this gives Dennagon a brilliant idea.

We cut to the interior of the Tower, Lyconel is suspended in a mass of molten silver which doesn’t hurt her because reasons. Drekkenoth and Arxinor are watching her. They have ANOTHER debate where they’re pretending to be wise, this time about the laws of physics. Drekkenoth argues that the laws of physics are only assumptions that come from established and inductive science. Now, if any smug douchebag were actually to argue this with any normal person, the normal person would say: “Yes, what’s your fucking point?” Because seriously, what is the fucking point? Is he trying to argue that their understanding of physics is invalid, or lacking? If so, great, let’s hear your evidence and get to the bottom of it, rather than continuing to debate the definitions of words, because that’s so fucking helpful.

Instead, this happens:

“So what is important? How do you define ‘important’?”

“How does one define ‘define’? There is ambiguity in everything because everything can mean anything or nothing. Comprehension lies in one’s perception.” (page 258)

And it quickly spirals downward.

Eventually Lyconel asks what Drekkenoth wants and he explains – in a very roundabout and pretentious way – that he wants to dominate all of existence. Wow. What a surprise. Lyconel asks him why he feels there’s certainty in the world.

“Logic, consciousness, causality, a timeless genesis, a temporal genesis, destiny, time, space, spacetime, relativity, macrocosm, microcosm, quantum mechanics, uncertainty, unconsciousness, symmetry and asymmetry,” he listed all the certainties of the universe. “These things are irrevocably constant.”

“Prove each and every one of them.” (page 261)

And, of course, he does. Well. To clarify, Eng has Drekkenoth TRY to prove each of these, and it goes on for some time. I feel like Eng doesn’t understand the point of the below comic:


Let’s skip past it.

We get back to Dennagon’s brilliant plan. The tower is very, very fucking tall. It reaches into the atmosphere. So the dragons are climbing the outside. Hand over hand.

You’d think they would just fly up, being dragons and all, and being able to fly at 1,500 miles per hour. But they’re not. Because reasons.

Back to Drekkenoth, who is waxing poetic about the history of the world. The ‘deity’ who originally created the world didn’t do a great job of it, being inexperienced at that sort of thing, so he made some tweaks to evolution which led to them being in their current state. But the world still isn’t perfect, which this god-being may or may not be super happy about. Anyway, long story short, supposedly the world is naturally imperfect, because if it were actually perfect it would result in the destruction of all existence. Drekkenoth doesn’t back this up with any facts, but fair enough.

Then Drekkenoth plugs a computer chip into Lyconel’s brain, she screams in pain, and he asks her where he can find the Lexicon.

Back to Dennagon.

The winds around his altitude were too strong for him to fly up (page 268).

Bullshit, Eng. We’ve already seen multiple examples of Dennagon flying at every altitude that exists on the planet.

Dennagon does have his spellbook with him, and Dradicus asks him if he knows any teleportation spells.

Over to Lyconel. The computer chip is changing all her neurons to robots, which doesn’t sound like it should work in the way Eng thinks it should work. Drekkenoth monologues that he’s turning her into a Technodragon and once that completes she’ll be able to retrieve the Lexicon and destroy it for him. I don’t know why he’s telling her his master plan unless he’s an incredibly stupid lame supervillain – I know why he’s telling her his master plan. It gets worse:

“Five minutes until the eve Moon rises. after that, nothing can stop us! AAAAHAHAHAHA!!!” (page 271)

Lyconel loses consciousness.

At the top of the tower, Dennagon leaps inside and pulls out a pistol. One of the sentries, Thargon, scoffs at him, until Dennagon pulls his coat open just like Neo in The Matrix –


– revealing a shitload of guns.

Fleetly, he pulled out two miniguns from the undersides of his wings, tossing a pistol to Thargon (page 272).

Wait. Why the fuck would he give a gun to his enemy?

Dennagon starts mowing them down, but the entire legion is alerted to his presence. At that moment a portal opens up:

Out came Dradicus from the Supersurface Cave Network, where he had just been teleported to in order to stock up on weapons (page 273).

What a dramatically satisfying Deus ex Machina!

Dennagon flies around, cycling through his weapons and slaughtering dragons left and right. Naturally, none of the hundreds of other dragons can hit him, even though he’s one dragon and they have their own machine-guns. Finally the dragons are mostly eliminated and the Technoknights come out, armed with rockets. Dennagon swaps his uzis out for a shotgun and uses this to pick off the rockets aimed at him.

Yes. They are firing MOTHERFUCKING ROCKETS at him and he’s able to casually destroy each one, without a problem, with an ordinary shotgun.

Eventually, they’re all dead, so Dradicus passes over a nuclear warhead. Dennagon throws the nuke into the top of the Tower and it goes off.

Even Drekkenoth feels the explosion, deep inside. After a moment Arxinor bursts in, flipping his shit.

A sudden gust of radiation blew an inch of stone off every surface in the chamber (page 276).

That’s not the way radiation works, Eng.

Drekkenoth orders Arxinor to kill Dennagon, because that order has worked out so well the last five times he gave it. Drekkenoth grabs Lyconel and exits through a window.

Dennagon and Dradicus wait behind a floating outpost for the nuclear wreckage to pass. I admit I’m no expert, but I feel like they’d actually be within the blast radius and waiting behind a FLOATING outpost wouldn’t actually protect them from anything.

Anyway, once the wreckage passes they jump over to the top of the Tower which is probably brimming with radiation. Time for a handwave!

Luckily, dragons had more resistance to the mutagenic energy than did the humans nukes were designed to slaughter (page 277).

Let’s end on that note.


  2 Responses to “Fragment Eleven: An Ecstasy of Cognition”

  1. “How does one define ‘define’?”

    *eyeroll* I swear I’ve seen that exact phrase from an Internet troll who kept trying to make the discussion be about definitions instead of actually defending his arguments – the author is just using the book to recast all the Internet arguments he lost so that he won instead, right?

  2. As long as you’re posting Calvin and Hobbes strips related to Eng’s work, there’s another one that comes to mind— “When in doubt, deny all terms and definitions.”