One thing I enjoy doing, from time to time, is browsing through my site’s data collected by Google Analytics. Out of all this data, by far the most interesting is browsing through the keywords – in other words, seeing what phrases people typed into search engines that led them to Conjugal Felicity.
Most of popular results are what you would imagine – the most popular three are “conjugal felicity,” “conjugalfelicity,” and “maradonia sporking,” and various conglomerations or misspellings or variations thereof. Likewise, many results are simply from people interested in Maradonia, Robert Stanek, Latawnya, Natural Harvest, Eragon, or other series. But I’m not here to talk about the normal results. I’m here to tell you about the interesting ones.
It turns out that people are very, very fond of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy having sex.
- conjugal felicity torch of love
- pride and prejudice porn (and dozens of variations)
- darcy and elizabeth have sex (and dozens of variations)
- jane austen softcore porn (and many variations)
- bingley fucks jane
- chapter in mr. darcy takes a wife where elizabeth loses her virginity
- colin firth ravish
- colin firth sex fanfiction
- darcy bulge
- darcy bulge in breeches
- darcy’s penis
- darcy elizabeth semen
- fornication with mr darcy
- darcy masturbate pride and prejudice
- darcy pleasures elizabeth
- elizabeth and darcy pregnant sex
- mr darcy orgasm
- mr darcy takes a wife sex chapters
- mr darcy takes a wife sex scene
- mr. darcy rapes elizabeth
- pemberly porn fanfic
- wickham fucks elizabeth bennet
- elven lesbians
- take off bikini
- two girls touching their boobs
- young woman lying on bed naked spread eagle
- man holding a sword touching himself
Somewhat specific porn, but porn, nevertheless.
Some were looking for career advice:
- how to steal stuff from inside cars
Others were looking for medical advice:
- i have very few sperm
- is there a worse author than gloria tesch
- turkeys strychnine crabs
- robert stanek is full of shit
- where does robert stanek shit?
However, several of those intrigued by Eragon were interested in a certain scene between Eragon and Oromis featuring a hairless groin:
- eragon and oromis naked
- eragon hairless groin
- eragon homoeroticism
- eragon with oromis nude
- eragon wondered what he looked like without his clothes
- his hairless groin
But, by far the most interesting results were from people googling…things…that led them to Natural Harvest. Some of these are clearly from people who have already heard of Natural Harvest, and others, I suspect, were just made during a dark time.
- can you actually make a cum omelette
- semen recipe
- taste of cooked semen
- “cum creme caramel”
- bachelorette party semen
- can you really use semen in cooking?
- preparing food with semen dinner guests
- recipes using semen
I know that there’s a 99.99999% chance that this person read or heard about Natural Harvest, but there’s that 0.00001% chance that they just were curious, and that frightens me.
- saving cum for cooking
- saving semen cooking
- saving semen fetish
- semen chocolate eclairs
- serving semen in drinks